April 28, 2010
Dump The Backstabbing Trash
For the boss it is often a fairly easy task to get rid of a backstabber. Start a paper trail for every infraction that results in the backstabber being fired, or simply put them at the top of the list for any downsizing opportunity that arises.
But, what about in a personal relationship? That can depend a lot on the relationship, your values, and how deep the knife was put in your back.
A friend that retold something you told them in confidence? It happens all the time and if you are smart, you won’t trust them with any other information you don’t want repeated. If you can’t help yourself and they continually backstab you, dump them and learn how to pick better friends. Likely, this friend is nothing more than a backstabber more interested in spreading dirt, than in your friendship.
Family members that backstab you? A whole lot more difficult to dump and truthfully, you may never be able to break ties with them or rid them totally from your life. What you can do is create distance. It can be short term, or for the long term, but you will have to remain cordial if you have an extended family. This usually involves not accepting invites to their social functions, making excuses for your absence and not sharing with them your happenings in your immediate family’s current problems. Provide them with only the good – never the bad that everyone must deal with and never share your thoughts about others you both know mutually. Treat them as an acquaintance you tolerate until you believe they have matured (which may never happen).
Lovers? Backstabbing can come in varying degrees and most aren’t so unforgivable that you can’t get past your mate telling her friend that you did something stupid that makes you appear as an ass, or some other tidbit that puts you in a bad light. Probably the most abhorrent form of backstabbing you in this relationship is cheating.
Bite the bullet. Have a good cry, or go out and put on a good drunk with friends if you need to (prepared with arrangements to find a safe way home, of course). Perform the dump of the backstabber. If you accept the knife in your back, more will be sure to come. This type of backstabber was likely stabbing you for some time – you just weren’t aware of the previous knives that are embedded between your shoulders (which you may become aware of in the coming days after you dump the backstabber and others finally tell you what they know).
If you need help dumping the trash, click the image on this article. Though written with men in mind, much of the advice can be applied to help women leave and recover from a relationship in which they were backstabbed by a cheating mate.