Backstabber Report

O.J. Simpson Backstabs Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman

Well this is awkward… Accusing O.J. Simpson of backstabbing an ex-wife and waiter when they were both murdered with a knife. We wouldn’t imply O.J. Simpson literally stabbed them in the back. After all, Nicole had her throat cut – so deeply it nearly decapitated her. Ron Goldman’s wounds were in front of his body. We also haven’t forgotten that O.J. was found innocent by a jury of his peers that didn’t hear all the evidence that was thrown out, or the prosecution failed to rebut.

So, we won’t discuss the fact that evidence wasn’t presented to the jury about the note he left before he started on his low-speed chase in the white Bronco and the items found in it; a change of clothing, a large amount of cash, a passport and a disguise kit.

We won’t discuss the DNA evidence, the cut on his finger, the witnesses never heard from, one who saw him enter his house after not responding to numerous phone calls made from outside the home, when a limo driver arrived to pick him up during the time line of the murders. How his vehicle wasn’t in the driveway when the limo driver arrived, but when it appeared the calls to his home were finally answered after he was seen entering it.

The man was found innocent – on a rhyme – when a glove, distorted, shrunk, and not in it’s original condition, because it had once been soaked in blood, was resistant to Simpson’s attempt to put it on, when asked by a prosecutor to do so – who made the error asking in the first place. Any idiot might have wanted to ask someone who has left leather gloves in the rain, what happens to them when they dry.

“If it don’t fit, you must acquit!”
See how simple? Matter settled.
A nasty, blood-shrunken leather glove made it all a big mistake.
Sorry, O.J.
Our bad, and you deserve the white man’s apology for trying to frame you in some bizarre conspiracy you say targeted the black man.

So, we’re not saying O.J. Simpson is a backstabber who got away with murder. Most people today (even those, who once thought him innocent) might think him guilty and that money buys a defense to confuse the facts and truth – but not us!

We consider Simpson a backstabber for failing to find the “real killers,” as he promised. Sure, we understand that he took on a job that the police got wrong to begin with, but O.J. seems to be forgetting his promise, unless he has a lead that involves golf courses and other resort areas that he was constantly seen at.

Perhaps, when he went into the casino hotel room and robbed two men of the Heisman Trophy they had that was once his, he suspected them of being the killers. We kind of doubt it though, considering he asked them no questions about Nicole or Ron and seemed more interested in taking the trophy.

O.J. Simpson is a backstabber – only for breaking a promise, of course – and we might have to acquit him on this, too. Kind of hard to keep up the search, now that he is doing time for armed robbery.